What Does the Bible Say About Romantic Relationships?
- Eljoh Hartzer
- May 31
- 9 min read
There are many verses about relationships in the Bible. The Bible isn’t quiet on the topic of loving relationships. In fact, you can get good relationship advice from the Bible that can show you how to nurture healthy relationships.
First, we see the relationship between God and people, and then we discover the relationships people have with each other. Since the Bible is full of history, poetry, songs, and historical fiction, relationships play a big role in the Bible’s stories. Can you name one Bible event that is not based on a relationship?
The reason for this focus on relationships in the Bible is that God is a relational God. He designed people to exist in relationships, so the Bible is full of verses on relationships and love.
“It is love alone that gives worth to all things.” – St. Teresa of Avila
The most famous love Bible verse
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
This is the one Bible verse that is kind of a cliche at weddings, anniversaries, and relationship milestones. 1 Corinthians 13 describes what Biblical love looks like. If you’re in a romantic relationship, this verse offers a great place to start.
For an even deeper study of the love-relationship advice in the Bible, let’s discover 8 tips below:
Romantic relationship lessons from Bible verses
1. Wholehearted worship of God makes for great relationships
Matthew 22:37-40
“Jesus replied, ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself'”.
When Jesus describes the first commandment in this verse, He gives us a map for life. He was saying the most important relationship in your life is the one between you and God. From there, your other relationships will flow.
Romans 12:1
“Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.“
In this verse, Paul encourages the believers to remember that they are not their own. God has bought them at a great price, and therefore, they need to follow Him wholeheartedly.
2. Friendship & companionship
Genesis 2:18
“Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.'”
God looked at humankind and decided the best way for us to live was with others. While young foals can stand after birth, humans need a lot of care and attention for the first few years of life! It is written into our design that we need community in order to survive. That could be in the form of a romantic partner.
Genesis 2:21
“Then the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on the man, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place.”
In the book of Ecclesiastes, Solomon also affirms the idea that two are better than one.
Ecclesiastes 4:12
“And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”
Proverbs 17:17
“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”
It’s wonderful if your romantic partner can also be your best friend. You need someone who will stick by your side no matter what comes your way.
3. Redefine love in the Bible
Colossians 3:14
“And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity”
The strong bonds of love unite people. If you feel like there’s a gaping hole between you and your partner, “put on love” like this verse says.
James 1:19
“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry…”
Luke 6:31
“Do to others as you would have them do to you.”
These verses highlight some practical ways that we can live out Biblical love in our relationships. We need to become good listeners who have patience, and we need to treat others as we want to be treated. But how do we do this?
John 15:12
“Love each other as I have loved you.”
If you want to become a person of love, you need to first recognize how much God loves you. Spend your life in His presence and stay aware of His great love for you – soon, you will be able to share that love with others, too. It does not come from yourself but from the Father. All relationships can heal if they are submitted to His ways.
4. Deep love is shown in humility
John 15:3
“Greater love has no one than this, that one should lay down his life for his friends.”
Even though it might seem like it, this verse is not only about dear friends. This verse describes what real love is in relationships in the Bible. The essence of true love is seen in humility – not putting yourself first but laying yourself down so that the other person can be first.
Philippians 2:3-4
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Do not look to your own interests, but each of you to the interests of the others.”
It’s so important to keep humility in mind when building relationships. In humility, value others higher than yourself!
However, it’s important to not get caught up in actions or generosity:
“It is not how much we do, but how much love we put in the doing. It is not how much we give, but how much love we put in the giving.”– Mother Teresa
4. Submission & mutual respect
It can be easy to feel entitled in relationships. But this cannot be the way we live as Bible-obeying Christians… We need to see what’s said about relationships in the Bible.
Mark 10:45
“even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.”
We need to recognize when we need to submit ourselves and let our partners lead.
Ephesians 5:22-24
“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”
The kind of submission described in this verse is based on mutual respect (Read the rest of this chapter below). How do you know you’re comfortable in a friend’s home? Perhaps when you take your shoes off. You feel safe enough to show vulnerability. In the same way, a safe relationship makes submission easy.
Ephesians 5:25 & 33
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”
These verses show how the husbands should love their wives. This love is likened to Christ Jesus giving Himself for mankind, so the servitude is evident again.
5. Choose peace
Ephesians 4:3
“Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.”
Notice what comes first in this verse. The unity with the Lord God’s Holy Spirit is kept THROUGH peace. So, peace actually determines whether you’re able to tune in to the Holy Spirit. The Bible teaches us to make peace a priority in our lives and relationships.
Romans 15:5
“May God, who gives this patience and encouragement, help you live in complete harmony with each other, as is fitting for followers of Christ Jesus.”
The opposite of peace in a relationship in the Bible can be conflict or anger. It might be active or passive anger, but it disrupts the harmony between the two people. The Bible gives clear insight on this, too.
Ecclesiastes 7:9
“Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.”
Proverbs 10:12
“Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers over all wrongs.”
Anger is not a fruit of the Spirit, but peace is. Jesus taught that those who live in Him will bear good fruit. You have to be serious about uprooting anger and fighting from your life. God can do the work in you, but you have to be willing to surrender to His way first.
6. Build trust in your relationship
Proverbs 31:11
“The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will never stop getting good things.”
In this Proverb, Solomon describes what a good wife is like. Notice the wording ‘the heart of her husband trusts’ – It’s a beautiful image in God’s Word to show that trust is the most important thing in a relationship. There’s also a promise in this Scripture: He will have no lack of gain.
Proverbs 22:1
“A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches; loving favor rather than silver and gold.”
A positive reputation and being respectable will lead to better relationships because such a person is easy to trust. You should be able to trust your partner and trust the people they surround themselves with.
1 Corinthians 15:33
“Bad company corrupts good character.”
The kind of trust we want in a relationship in the Bible is beautifully expressed in some Old Testament love stories, like the ones found in the books of Hosea or Ruth. Look at the trust displayed here:
Ruth 1:16
“Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried.”
7. Forgiveness matters – daily
1 Peter 4:8
“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins”.
In this Bible verse, Peter reflects on the love-gift of Jesus Christ. He took the sins and shortcomings of humanity onto His own shoulders. Why? Because of love. In the same way, we are not supposed to point out the flaws of our partners. We need to choose love instead of condemnation and judgment.
Colossians 3:13
“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
It is more beneficial to focus on the good that you see in the other person than to keep pointing out their flaws.
1 Thessalonians 5:11
“Encourage one another and build each other up.”
Ephesians 4:29
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
8. Your most important mission field is around your dinner table
In marriage prep, my husband and I were told: “Your spouse is not here for your happiness, they’re here for your holiness”.
Proverbs 27:11
“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”
Your family will bring out the best in you and sometimes the worst in you. They know you. That’s why their radical acceptance is so meaningful. In our relationships, we echo the Father’s heart who saw us in our brokenness. Yet He did not laugh or tease us; He comforted us and washed us clean. What does this look like in the context of relationships?
James 5:16
“Therefore confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working”.
A relationship in the Bible of mutual love is better than one where one person tries to outsmart the other. It’s a safe space where you can confess sins, pray together, and keep each other accountable to keep following God.
Hebrews 10:24-25
“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”
Reflection on relationships in the Bible
”I once thought marriage took just two to make a go, but now I am convinced it takes the Lord also. And not one marriage fails where Christ is asked to enter, as lovers come together with Jesus at the center. But marriage seldom thrives, and homes are incomplete, till He is welcomed there to help avoid defeat”. – Elisabeth Elliot
All of these verses have brought up themes that we can find in relationships in the Bible that are built on the firm foundation of God. He is the rock that we should build on so that the strong winds and rain won’t break us down. Life is going to throw all kinds of things at your relationship. You need to be settled into God so that you’ll both know what to cling to when those hard times inevitably come.
“Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.”
– Matthew 7:24-27
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Discover even more about relationships in the Bible:
*Originally written for GodsVerse.org https://godsverse.org/relationship-in-the-bible/
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