Volunteers in Children's Ministry - Why they leave and how to get them to stay

Why does it seem like all the other ministries get the best volunteers? People will serve on the worship team for twenty years or be on coffee duty for a lifetime, but many modern churchgoers seem to see Kids Church as a "seasonal" thing. This post dives into some of the reasons why children's ministry is often a quick pit-stop for volunteers and how to grow so that volunteers can last.

Kids Volunteers are nomads

There is a lot of stigma around serving in Kids Church. In every faith community that I've been part of, there have been unique challenges that seem to taint the fragrance of kids' ministry. Before we dive into the many reasons why volunteers leave and what you can do to make them stay, let's consider the trend for a moment.

Sociologists define a social phenomenon as something that happens because of social influence. These "social facts" are often regarded as the truth without much question about how this truth came into being. A social trend like the stigma around kids ministry is usually not perceptible until it becomes a problem.

"The chains of habit are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken" - Samuel Johnson

If you're still reading, you might be familiar with this phenomenon. Why is it that other ministries get it right that their volunteers last for the long run but the kids' workers are considered 'seasonal'?

Reasons why Volunteers avoid Kids Church

Let's discover some of the reasons why people don't last very long as Sunday school instructors. I've heard all of these reasons:

1. "I don't want to miss worship!" (The Worshipper)

2. "I never see anyone else. It's lonely." (The Connector)

3. "It's tiring and my body can't." (The One with a Valid Excuse)

4. "I don't like it." (The Visionary)

5. "It's embarrassing". (The Fun One)

6. "I want to be seen". (The Hero)

7. "I need to hear the sermon". (The Discipler)

Usually when a volunteer gives one of these reasons, they take off. But what if this was the start of a conversation about how the ministry can grow? What if, instead of choosing offense, we chose to hear them out and create space for them inside the ministry?

Getting Volunteers to Stay in Kids Ministry

Instead of reinventing the wheel, let's consider the first three verses of Hebrews 12:

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted.

I'll weave these verses into the discussion below so that we can see how they apply to the topic at hand. Let's get into it:

Simple changes you can make to show volunteers you care about these reasons:

The Worshipper

1: "I don't want to miss worship!"

Many people encounter God through music. It is a special way for us to unite with fellow believers and have a time of meditation and reflection. Do you have music as part of your kids church program? You could play worship music while the children do a craft.

If worship is about singing to God and encountering the Holy Spirit, we should be able to do that through Kids Dance and Worship too. If you can't, it might be time to bring in your favorite worship song. We even did soaking time where the kids just lay on the floor and worship music was playing over them. Some fell asleep and we prayed they dreamt of heaven!

At another stage, we actually asked the volunteers to only come out to kids church after worship was done. They got to stay inside and have a moment of connection with God before coming out to serve. We also played worship music in the space before church and our team prayed over the program and the kids coming that day.

...is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him...

The volunteer who longs to spend more time in God's presence is obviously not wrong for feeling that way - the question is, why are they not encountering God in your Kids Church program? (More on this later)

Get the worshipper to stay: Make worship music a part of your program / Worship together beforehand.

The Connector

2: "I never see anyone else. It's lonely."

This one is for the extroverts who have FOMO for whatever is going on in big church, but it is also for the introverts who can feel lonely in a room full of kids. Introduce name tags for both the kids and the volunteers and start each day with a fun name game.

Focus on creating a "family feel" for your group. Put up photos of the volunteers and the kids on the classroom wall and do group work more than individual crafts and games. You can even buy a massive roll of paper (1m wide) and have EVERYONE draw on it together versus having separate A4s per person.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses...

One Sunday, after working as a Kids Pastor for a church for three years, I had a Sunday off. I usually tried to take a Sunday off once a month, but a volunteer would be sick last minute or something would go wrong. You know how it is. Anyway, I was walking around in the church, and then someone came up to me and said: "You must be new here. I am _____! Welcome to church!"

This is a funny story now, but it holds 2 major truths: 1: I needed to get out from behind the scenes and actually know the church & 2: Nobody should miss the service every week. 'Belonging' is an important aspect of church membership! Don't overschedule your volunteers! The person with this concern might be right and you might need to hear this...

If you don't have enough volunteers to have a rotation going, CANCEL KIDS CHURCH. Drastic I know. But, bring the kids in and have them do coloring activities inside big church one Sunday a month. If anybody has a problem with them being there, they can kindly be reminded that the kids are part of the family AND (this part is crucial) they can be invited to join the volunteer team!

Get the connector to stay:  Make sure that your church realizes kids are part of the family.

The One with a Valid Excuse

3: "It's tiring and my body can't do it."

Kids ministry is perhaps a little more taxing on the body than some other ministries. However, it is your job as ministry coordinator to make sure it is easy for volunteers to serve. How about this:

Sarah: "I wish I could help with the kids, but because of my back, I just can't stand for that long."

Kids Leader: "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that Sarah. But do you know what we really need? Someone who can sit by the door and watch that nobody runs out. You'll provide a great opportunity for us to teach the kids how to love family well."

Sarah: "Well, I kinda just thought I'd have to be on my feet the whole time. Are you sure I wouldn't get in the way?"

Kids Leader: "In the way? Are you kidding? We would love to have you there! And, seriously, it would help me a lot to have an extra set of eyes on the little ones."

Serving in children's church should be easy enough that ANYBODY should be able to slot in somewhere! The person with a valid reason - be it old age or being differently abled - should still be able to serve. It's family and there's a place for everyone to come as they are and contribute the little that they have!

 ...let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us...

At one point, we got really desperate about getting people in church to see you didn't have to be a 20-y.o. girl to serve in kids. So we came up with this plan: At the church entrance, right next to the coffee stand, we put up a notice board with individual cards stuck to it. Each card had a simple, tangible, need written on it. Instead of saying "We need Kids volunteers", it would say "We need 1 person to write name tags and check kids in before service". Not all the cards were picked up, but the ones that were turned into some of our most unlikely, but most committed volunteers.

Get the one with a valid excuse to stay:  Make it easy for them to serve (lower the bar).

The Visionary

4: "I don't like it."

Now, this one is a bit trickier. There are definitely giftings and talents that God gave certain people, but sometimes people have the idea that they need to be The Child Whisperer in order to be able to serve in kids. That's not the case at all! I recently read a quote that said: "Imagine how quiet the forest would be if only the best singers among the birds sang!" and it applies here as well.

A great way to respond to this is to have them do a giftedness test. The wonderful thing about kids ministry is that you need basically every person on board: Administration (Schedule volunteers and communications), Teaching (the lesson), Hospitality (classroom and snack), and so forth. Play your volunteers to their strengths and they will stay for a long time!

I did the DISC assessment with my group of volunteers once and it really helped me see how to put the right person in the right seat. Help them discover their unique calling and purpose. This also opened a conversation about me delegating & the team sharing more of the load.

If we view Sunday school as a family, there is a place for everybody. Jesus was a thirty-something-year-old man, yet He said: "Let the children come to me!" It was not His main purpose of being, but He loved kids well anyway. The issue shouldn't be whether someone likes children or not...

...looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith...

Get the visionary to stay:  Help them develop a heart for kids and why they matter in the Kingdom.

What if this person isn't wrong? Maybe the issue isn't with your volunteers but with how you've built the ministry. Is every Sunday chaotic and crazy? I wouldn't want to serve there either... Consider watching my video below for ideas of structural changes you could make: (You can also read the post instead)

The Fun One

5: "It's embarrassing".

Kids ministry should never be embarrassing. Sure, we can be silly and playful if that is our character, but that is not for everybody. Sitting in front of thirty kids with neon green oversized glasses on your face won't help them pay better attention to what you're reading from the Bible.

How the faith of youth takes shape needs to be more authentic than that. For them to have true faith formation and not just entertainment, they need a LIVED faith; a tangible faith; and a faith that does not push them off to the side.

Read this post that I wrote about moving kids church beyond entertainment and towards true faith formation.

With that being said, we should not be too proud to share the Gospel with kids. If pride is the reason for not wanting to serve in Sunday School, that person needs to check their heart. Why won't you be joyful, playful, and lay yourself down? What is really holding you back?

Often, the person who finds kids church cringy might be right! Lend them your ear. They might be "cool" enough to know what the kids will actually enjoy. This person can be your greatest asset if you give them the floor to come up with ideas rather than criticism.

 ...who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God...

Joshua: "I just wanted to let you know I won't be serving in kids church anymore."

Kids Leader: "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. May I ask why not?" Joshua: "Don't take this the wrong way, but it's so... silly. It's not really my personality to jump and dance and stuff..." Kids Leader: "Yeah, I get you. Discipling kids should not make you feel embarrassed. How do you think we could improve?"

Joshua: "Uh... Um... Maybe we could do more modern songs? Jesus Loves Me This I Know is sooo 2000's. We did it when I was a kid!"

Kids Leader: "Ha! You're right. Thanks for pointing that out! Do you mind finding 3 fun new kids songs that we can try out next week? You can help me out 'cause this is not my strong suit, but you'd be amazing at it!"

Get the fun one to stay:  Let them come up with the game or give input on how you can make it more fun!

The Hero

6: "I want to be seen".

OK, I doubt that anybody really told you this in so many words. Perhaps they struggled to express what they feel: "It's so hidden away and removed from everything else". Kids ministry is humbling. Imagine the volunteer who has three children hanging from them and glitter on their face in a room somewhere far away. Now, imagine the worship leader standing up on stage under the spotlight, literally.

Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted...

If someone expresses the Fear Of Missing Out desire expressed here, pause and pray. Perhaps God actually does want them in big church for a specific reason, but more often than not God meets us in our hiddenness. 'Obscurity' is actually stated as a spiritual practice by some. God cultivates beautiful fruit in us in the hidden and secret places.

Sometimes, Sunday School even gets a bad rep. It can be the recipient of a lot of criticism but little help - and I know from first hand experience that it makes you forget why you started in the first place...

But this person has a valid point. They want to be seen. Luckily, kids ministry is about real relationships and connection. When kids like you and approve of you, they will make sure you always feel seen and appreciated - that's just their way.

Get the hero to stay:  Help them bond with the kids so that they can be the kids' hero!

The Hero

7: "I need to hear the sermon".

This one is valid. One of my mentors once said: "Leaders should be self-feeders". If you want to be able to point children to the living water, you need to know where it is. If your volunteers lack "umph" (I mean, the vooma and passion); this is probably the reason.

As the ministry leader, you have the responsibility of also being a spiritual leader for your volunteers. Send them worship songs and share devotionals with them. Start a Bible study group with them.If your church records the sermon, send it out to your communications group every week and encourage the ones who served on Sunday to give it a listen.

You can't pour from an empty cup - and you shouldn't expect your volunteers to do so either. This person's concern is valid and they are not wrong. But kids church should be true discipleship as well! And that individual can be a great one to have on your team because they understand the value of a relationship with Jesus.

...looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith...

The truth is, this person is not wrong either, your curriculum and lesson content could be so good that it even gives the volunteers goosebumps. The Gospel can be packaged in kid-friendly ways without being super cringy and shallow! I just published my first kids storybook, a Sunday School curriculum based on the Fruits of the Spirit that is not only fun and creative but still deep and meaningful. Read it on Kindle here:

LIVING IN THE KINGDOM (OF HEAVEN)

Get the discipler to stay:  Get a good curriculum OR create space for them to truly disciple the kids. I want to encourage you that these steps are worth the work! Building a kids ministry that lasts takes a lot of faith and patience, but it is so worth it in the end. You can read this encouraging post about waiting with faith.

Still stumped?

If you've done all of the above and you are still stumped - Why do they leave? I want to encourage you to study your church and your kid's church volunteers like a population. Use the questions below to prayerfully discern what the issue might be:

• Are most of the volunteers male or female? How can you even that out more? God grants different genders unique gifts when it comes to working with kids.

• How big is your church? What percentage of your members are serving in kids?

• Are the kids represented by the volunteers? (Race, Language, Nationality, Bodily Ability, etc)

• How old are your volunteers? Different generations can have a massive impact on the dynamics in the ministry space. In my experience, grandparents help with discipline and respect and young adults help with fun and creativity.

• If you are serving alone, might it be because the ministry is inaccessible to others? Have you expressed the need for help?

Can you identify each of the personalities from this post in your church?

1. "I don't want to miss worship!" (The Worshipper)

2. "I never see anyone else. It's lonely." (The Connector)

3. "It's tiring and my body can't." (The One with a Valid Excuse)

4. "I don't like it." (The Visionary)

5. "It's embarrassing". (The Fun One)

6. "I want to be seen". (The Hero)

7. "I need to hear the sermon". (The Discipler)

   
   

   

Here's one more: Some volunteers are nomadic because they are parents. They join kids ministry because their children struggle to separate from them at church and so they "might as well" help out. While this is not bad in itself, it certainly explains why there would be no reason for them to stay once the child can let them go... Are there others that you would add to the list?

Have you heard of some other reasons why people can't serve in kids? Let's brainstorm and pray for solutions together in the comments.